I'm Still Here
by Child of the Ancients
Summary: One shot song-fic. It's late at night, and everyone is asleep except for Inuyasha. He uses the time to think about many things, including his relationship with Kagome.


I am a question to the world  
  
Not an answer to be heard  
  
Or a moment that's held in your arms  
  
.  
  
Inuyasha crossed his arms, frowning as he stared up at the stars. Below him, the humans and two demons were asleep around the fire. All of them appeared happy and content at the moment.  
  
He envied the humans in a way. Almost anywhere they went, they were welcomed; yet, he, a half demon, was never wanted in any place. Throughout the course of his life, no one had tried to understand him. Kikyou had accepted him but never really understood him.  
  
Villagers had thrown rotten food at him, other demons had cursed and insulted him, and even the gods seemed to hate him. They just had to hate him, especially when he considered the horrible hand he had been dealt in life. He was a hanyou.  
  
Only two people in his entire life had ever really loved him: his mother and his father. They were both dead, leaving him pretty much alone in the world. He did have that jerk of a half brother for a family, but the taiyoukai did not really count. They had tried to kill each other too many times.  
  
Why? Why could his last and only family member not accept him for what he was? Was it really all that difficult?  
  
.  
  
And what do you think you'd ever say  
  
I won't listen anyway  
  
You don't know me  
  
And I'll never be what you want me to be  
  
.  
  
No one ever tried to get to know him, really get to know him. Kikyou had wanted him to be a gentle, kind, and loving human husband for her. She had said sweet words to him while she had been still alive, and she had even somewhat accepted him. Despite that fact, he had not really wanted to become human for her. It had just seemed like the best option at the time.  
  
.  
  
And what do you think you'd understand  
  
I'm a boy - No, I'm a man  
  
You can't take me and throw me away  
  
And how can you learn what's never shown  
  
Yeah you stand here on your own  
  
They don't know me  
  
'Cause I'm not here  
  
.  
  
Inuyasha sighed softly as he shifted to a more comfortable position on his tree branch. He glanced down at Kagome as he recalled the argument they had had earlier that day. Wincing, he silently apologized to the girl, knowing that it did no good.  
  
Perhaps if he had been raised with a loving family instead of losing both his mother and father at a young age... Maybe, just maybe, if someone had been kinder too him while he had been younger he would have known how to be kind as well. As it stood, he really did not know how to act kind. It was something he was learning from Kagome. Kikyou had started the lessons, and her reincarnation was continuing them.  
  
All of that still did not change the fact that he had been left alone at a young age, and it did not fix any of his problems. It merely lessened them, although he was trying to be better for Kagome. She, at least, was not like the others. She did not try to change him. She unknowingly gave the lessons because the lessons were basically him watching her act kind.  
  
.  
  
And I want a moment to be real  
  
Wanna touch things I don't feel  
  
Wanna hold on and feel I belong  
  
And how can the world want me to change  
  
They're the ones that stay the same  
  
They don't know me  
  
'Cause I'm not here  
  
.  
  
Oh, how he wanted to just sweep Kagome up into his arms and hug her. He wanted to confess his feelings to her, tell her how much he cared. Of course, he could not do that. He didn't have the guts.  
  
Inuyasha looked down once again at the sleeping miko. She looked so sweet, so innocent, and so vulnerable like that. She looked absolutely perfect.  
  
.  
  
And you see the things they never see  
  
All you wanted I could be  
  
Now you know me and I'm not afraid  
  
.  
  
Yes, Kagome was perfect... perfect for him. She had learned some of his greatest secrets and not betrayed him, and she had shown him astonishing loyalty. She was the one person who practically knew the contents of his soul, and she had never turned away. Even when he had chosen Kikyou, she had wanted to stay by his side. For some reason, as long as he was around Kagome, he did not feel alone or afraid.  
  
.  
  
And I wanna tell you who I am  
  
Can you help me be a man?  
  
They can't break me  
  
As long as I know who I am  
  
And I want a moment to be real  
  
Wanna touch things I don't feel  
  
Wanna hold on and feel I belong  
  
And how can the world want me to change  
  
They're the ones that stay the same  
  
They don't know me  
  
'Cause I'm not here  
  
.  
  
Inuyasha gave Kagome one last wistful look before he gave into temptation and jumped down to the ground. Quietly as possible, he walked up to the girl, crouched down, and ran the back of his hand down the side of her face.  
  
'Mmmm... Inu... yasha," she mumbled in her sleep, rubbing her cheek against his hand.  
  
He smiled, surprised and pleased by her reaction. That girl was the one who balanced out his troubled, dark soul and who had healed his heart. She was the most precious thing in the entire world to him, not that he would ever tell her that. Well, at least he was not going to tell her any time soon.  
  
.  
  
They can't tell me who to be  
  
'Cause I'm not what they see  
  
Yeah, the world is still sleepin'  
  
While I keep on dreamin' for me  
  
And their words are just whispers and lies  
  
That I'll never believe  
  
.  
  
The smile still on his face, Inuyasha went back up into his tree. His heart felt much lighter and his mind, less troubled. Kagome always did seem to have that affect on him.  
  
As long as he had Kagome, Inuyasha could have cared less about the rest of the world. As far as he was concerned, everyone else (excluding his friends, of course) could take all their lies and hatred and shove it. All he needed was his Kagome.  
  
.  
  
And I want a moment to be real  
  
Wanna touch things I don't feel  
  
Wanna hold on and feel I belong  
  
And how can they say I'll never change  
  
They're the ones that stay the same  
  
They don't know me  
  
'Cause I'm not here  
  
I'm the one  
  
'Cause I'm still here  
  
I'm still here  
  
I'm still here  
  
I'm still here  
  
.  
  
Inuyasha took a deep, content breath as he took one final look at Kagome before he allowed himself to close his eyes. It was time he allowed sleep to claim him.  
  
'I love you, Kagome,' he thought as darkness began to blanket his mind. 'I may never tell you, but I do love you.' Then, the world of dreams overtook him, giving him the most beautiful dream ever --a vision of what his future life would be like with Kagome, his one and only love. 


End file.
